it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
