The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize