Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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