Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
