Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
