Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
