butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
