I wish I could teleport
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
