fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
