my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
