whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
