I hate all girls vehemently.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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