When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
