im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
