just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
