I got chris browned last night
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
