How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
