Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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