i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
