Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Bring me that man meat
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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