Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
