He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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