You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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