My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
NoShamevember. You game?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize