i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
