I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
