summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
