There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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