Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize