he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
