When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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