Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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