so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
