We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
