She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
