Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
