Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
