we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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