You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
