is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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