why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
