How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
