She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
