i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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