So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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