Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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