I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
