Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
