my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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