I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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