I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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