I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
