Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
