What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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