i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
