it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
