you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
