I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
