i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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