On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
