dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize