I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
