just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
