Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
