i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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